No, that’s not going to be the title for the story that’s been played with in the process posts. It’s a gambit I use — these are the things in the story, these are the things that brought the idea to light.
And now I’ll give you an opening, from the character who will be the main character for the story.
The last delivery, and the scooter breaks down. Again. Third time today. Andy shoved the Honda 125 off the rutted dirt track and under the shade of the blue gum woodlot. He could walk the groceries to Dee Hunter’s place, but she always got heavy stuff. Except for the bread, everything else was in tins or large packets. Rice, grains, lentils in oversize packaging.
The driveway to her house was about 2km. Two thousand metres. Too far in this heat. Andy threw his helmet on the ground and wiped his face on his grimy cotton sleeve.
The long driveway of Cypress was clearly visible in the distance, but Dee’s house was hidden, only the dark gap of the gully to the rear. He could walk along the track at the base of the gully, but the roos were thick down there when it was hot.
He’d never tell anyone, but Andy was afraid of the roos. Especially the big bugger. That one had no fear, and he was taller than Andy.
Nothing for it. Had to fix the scooter enough that it got him to Dee’s house and then back to town. Or at least close enough he could walk without self-combusting. Ten kilometres was too far. Dee didn’t have a car, so he couldn’t ask her to help him. The help Andy wanted from Dee was much more than a lift into town, anyway. And she wasn’t amenable enough yet. He moved the saddle-packs forward and grabbed the tool-kit, flopped onto his backside, and pulled off the oil-grimed cover.
“What’cha doing, kid?”
Andy jumped backwards, dropped the tools as he leapt up and swung around to face the woodlot. Two blokes in identical outfits emerged from the thick dark shadows. At least it wasn’t Bob, and they didn’t carry Bob’s big shotgun.
“What are you doing in there?” Andy said. “The owner shoots trespassers. Didn’t you see the signs?”
There you have the first draft of an opening to the story under discussion in the story process posts.
Cage Dunn - Fibber, Fabricator, Teller-of-Tall-Tales 
Sounds good! It gives me some idea that Andy and Dee might be around the same age.
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I hadn’t thought of that angle; I’d put her at the same age as Andy’s father, and that’s where his misconceptions about her stem from. However …
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I really think that will add flavor to the plot.
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Yep. That works. – Michael.
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Thank you.
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The roos gave me the blues.
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I think they’re more likely to be into thumping rock
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Good picture of Andy, including things he’s anxious about and a hint of something he wants. One detail — right at the end he flops onto his backside to work on the scooter, but when the guy asks him what he’s doing, he jumps backwards. I couldn’t visualize how he’d do that if he’s sitting down.
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Yes, it should be a squat, rather than a flop onto the backside. Thanks, I always miss things like that on the first draft(s).
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