A Pitched Effort

A short short story:

-It’s 2245 on Monday 4 July 2022. My name is Detective Inspector Jan Bricker, and with me is Sergeant Milnet and George Dulmer. Please state your name and address for the record, George.

-Why am I here?

-Come on, George. You’re not under arrest. We just want to have a chat.


-The accident at the restaurant.

-Happo’s place? What’s that got to do with me?

-You were seen in the back laneway.

-My shop backs that laneway. It’s where I load and unload.

-On a Sunday evening.

-Chalk it up to a rush job for a themed wedding.

-When was the wedding scheduled?

-I’d have to check the books.

-It was Sunday.

-Why ask if you know?


-Maybe I was there for the clean-up after.

-Nothing in your bins.

-Maybe I used Happo’s bins.

-Why would you do that if yours are empty?

-He owes me.

-What does he owe you?

-It’s personal.

-Let’s talk about that.

-No, thanks.

-Okay, about the accident.

-What about it?

-Did you see anything? Was there anyone else in the laneway when you were working?


-Is anything missing from your shop?


-Are you certain? Did you leave the doors open or unlocked when you took the rubbish out?

-No. I always lock it and take the key with me.


-’Cos you never know when some low-life is going to sneak in and nick stuff. I have good stuff, you know. None of this knick-knack fakery. Real stuff.

-What about the Neptune costume?

-What about it?

-The pitch-fork.


-Okay, the trident. Where is it?

-Locked away, behind glass. Why the interest?

-It’s what you threatened to use.

-Who’s saying that? The only threat I made was …

-Go on, this is your chance to give your version of those events.

-I don’t think so.

-That makes us think you’re hiding something.

-He … she … they … I believe in the sanctity of marriage. They … I just yelled at them, waved a fist, yelled some more.

-Nothing else?

-Nothing else.

-What if I told you it didn’t work?

-What didn’t work?

-The trap was set but it didn’t go off. The rubber was perished, and the tension broke it.

-What trap?

-You were good, George, but the tines you sharpened with your steel identified you.

-I don’t do that part of it.

-Tools are great at adapting to the user, until it’s as good as a fingerprint. Unique to the user.

-She has keys.

-Open the door, Sergeant Milnet, and show the witnesses into the identification room, no mirror so George here knows they’re both alive, and I’ll write up the attempted murder charges. Now it’s time for the warnings, George, because you’re under arrest, and anything you say is –

-I know my rights. Where’s my legal rep?

Image from Pixabay

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